Political Wit And Satire

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the
newspaper you are misinformed."
-Mark Twain


Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress....
But then I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain


I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a
man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill


A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support
of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw


A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he
proposes to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy


Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what
to have for dinner.
-James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)


Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University


Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to
teenage boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian


Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)


Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it, and if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan (1986)


I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-Will Rogers


If you think health care is expensive now; wait until you see what it costs
when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke


Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-Pericles (430 B.C.)


No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
session.
-Mark Twain (1866)


Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown


The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-Ronald Reagan


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The
inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill


The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain


There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
-Mark Twain


What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)


A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

About the Author

Bob Parmelee is a freelance author who wishes to change the political climate. He feels we have seen enough warfare to last an eternity so it is time to leave the stone age behind. Politicians using the military as an excuse to loot the treasury (read oil ticket)should be behind bars, not leading the nation into ever increasing folly.